i-surrendered-to-jesus-christ

I Surrendered To Jesus Christ: How I Was Completely Blind

I am going to pour out my heart and soul into this blog post. As you can see from the title, I will be sharing with you how and WHY I decided to surrender to the Son of God Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

Wew, okay this is going to be a long story of why I surrendered to Jesus Christ so get a cuppa of latte or tea (whichever you prefer) and find a comfortable place to sit.

Are you ready? Okay, let’s go.

A Non-Believer

Let me start from the beginning. I was, of course, like everyone of you, born in this world from my mother’s womb. But I was already a non-believer from the start.

My whole family did not believe in Jesus Christ and sometimes my mother would mock Christ. She thought the Western media and Hollywood represented whatever that was said in the Holy Bible (of course, that is not true).

However, as a child, I was brought up in a traumatic, fearful environment. My biological father was a drug and alcohol addict. Even he was married to my mother, he would lust after other women, and BRAGGED about it.

Both my life and my mothers’ were in grave danger. I was almost killed as an infant (I don’t remember it but my mother told me of the horrific time that it happened).

Yeah, it was tragic. And extremely painful to deal it. It’s hard for me alone to type this out, but forgiveness for what had happened takes priority.

Anyways, fast forward, I was separated from my mother and father. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I had to move in with my cousin’s house. And for that, I am truly thankful to them for taking care of me. 🙂

Once again, they are all non-believers. But I have heard of Jesus Christ name. I was aware of the existence of a Holy Bible and Christianity.

Since I did not have the love and support I needed as a child, I seek guidance from friends and teachers in my primary school.

Now that I look back, my teachers knew about my traumatic childhood experience and I am so grateful for all of them. My primary school teachers that were in charge of my class, always took special care of me.

Oh man, words can’t fully express how much gratitude I have for their love.

During my primary school years, I was influenced by my group of friends. They are good people, and we are still standing strong as best friends after 13 years. So thankful for them.

Then in 2009, I found out about Lady Gaga. If I can recall correctly, this was her peak year of her song ‘Bad Romance’.

In 2009, I was 9 years old and was influenced by many things greatly especially from celebrities. I didn’t worship Lady Gaga but I did idolize her.

Guess you could say I was inspired by her. If you didn’t know this, she uses a lot of subliminal occult symbols in her music videos.

As a 9 year old, I was heavily influenced by her. Since Gaga was someone that I looked up to at THAT AGE, I mimicked her ways.

Idolatry is a sin in the Bible. Even if you are not a follower of Christ, you should know the harmful effect it has on us when we idolize someone. 

This can result in lower self-esteem and of course many other things that can make you feel terrible throughout your whole life.

Isaiah 44:9-20

All who fashion idols are nothing, and the things they delight in do not profit. Their witnesses neither see nor know, that they may be put to shame. Who fashions a god or casts an idol that shall be put to shame together.”

 

As days goes by, I felt empty and there was a void in me that was not filled. Yet throughout these hard times, I YEARN for the TRUTH.

To find God. I became a Freethinker at first.

Lost, blind and confused I came to the conclusion that maybe God does not exist at all.

I mean, as an infant I was almost killed, if God existed He probably wouldn’t allow such thing to happen right? That’s what I thought back then.

All the tragedies in this world also pained me. Poverty, homelessness made me feel so painful. I don’t want to see anyone suffer. No one deserves it.

So I became an Atheist. I think by this time I was 13 years old in 2013.

It was time to enter secondary school and move forward in my academic education. From this here I was an Atheist. Whenever people asked what my faith was, I would proudly say

“I am an Atheist, I don’t believe in God”

Yes, I used to be those hard cold logic and facts type of person. I wouldn’t believe anything that isn’t backed my science and evidence.

Unless I see it with my own pair of eyes, I will think it is not real. Damn, I was so full of pride back in the day.

Yet, there was this void in me that stayed constant throughout the dark times. My soul still wanted to be free to find the truth and be saved.

From 2013-2016 I was full of anger, hatred and resentment. Jealousy and envy run rampant in my life. I got hot tempered easily and worst, I actually embraced it.

Like I said, I was proud. So arrogant and proud.

I thought that the people who believed in a God were stupid. That I was all alone in this world that had a brain.

Terrible way of living your life, in my opinion.

At the same time, I was committing a lot of sin. I loved to gossip, judge people and always desired for worldly things. Funny thing was, I didn’t want fame.

But I wanted tons of money – for good reasons of course but it doesn’t matter. Once you set your mind on worldly things and not on things ABOVE, you will NEVER feel satisfied. No matter what these self-help books or gurus tell you, you will still feel thirsty.

Colossians 3:2

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things

This does not mean that you should dispose all your material things away. It just means that these worldly things does not matter in the end.

You should not live your life chasing after that man/woman, or money or material things. Your priority should be on the things above.

Honestly, this was hard for me to embrace and understand at first.

As an Atheist, I would engage with a lot of heated debates. I always wanted to be right and prove others wrong.

As days go by, I was spiritually dying. I was also taking great things in my life for granted. But all of this, is a cry for help. To save me.

Because I knew I needed it desperately. But I was EXTREMELY lost and confused yet I JUST WANTED THE TRUTH.

I read tons of books and articles online about who controls the world and all these sorts. And then I found the New Age movement.

Satan’s Deception Is Very Subtle But Highly Deceptive

If you live your life abiding by the Word of God alone, you would know about this spiritual war that is happening. Trust me, Satan comes in the most subtle of ways. Even I was taken by surprise.

Anyways, in 2017 I decided that I want to improve on myself as an individual. Break bad habits, control my temper and always being the best version of myself.

Allow me to share with you what type of person I was in bullet points.

  • Hot-tempered
  • Impatient 
  • Materialistic
  • Egotistic/Narcissistic
  • Hatred
  • Resentment/Holding Grudges
  • Arguing/Engaging in conflict
  • Wrath
  • Envy/Jealous of other’s success and advantages

I apologize, there is more traits that I embraced in the past that I can list down but as I am typing this, I can’t hold back my tears and I am in a cafe as I type this.

Oh man, okay I’m sorry let’s move forward.

I knew it was affecting my life negatively. So I wanted to change myself.

Lack of love within me dominated my whole life and I have had enough.

Now, I was aware of the New Age movement. But since I was naive, I thought that if I just do visualizations, setting my worldly desires as long as I had good intentions, writing affirmations, practicing mindfulness, meditating and empty my mind that I will be fine.

I thought as long as I don’t use crystals and engage in rituals and witchcrafts or the astrology – anything got to do with a lot of symbolism – that I will be alrigggghht.

BOY I WAS WRONG!

Getting back to my story, 2017 was the final year of my academics. I had already decided that I didn’t want to pursue my education any further and start my own business doing what I love.

To my surprise, as I was working on bettering myself, I discovered that I wanted to help others. To believe in positivity and that there is hope.

So right when 2018 came, life got even darker for me. I was experiencing an existential crisis. I made decisions that were against my moral codes.

I tried my hardest to choose my perception to focus on the good but I got worst.

I wanted to die. I just wanted to end it all. But deep down, there was a voice in me that said, “Don’t give up hope just yet”

I practiced the law of attraction and everything about co-creating your reality with God. And by God I meant the Universe and some kind of unknown “Source”.

That’s what they taught me.

It has everything to do with taking FULL control and responsibility for your life. That you can choose to see things and feel emotions.

Which is not wrong! I don’t completely disagree with it. However, this meant that I was God myself.

That I was responsible for everything. If I did not maintain my “high vibration” and feel the positive emotions dominantly I would more or less attract unwanted people and situations in my life.

On the surface, it sounds good and pure – all in the name of LOVE.

I did not even question where this “God” or “Source” is coming from. Of course, they will use terms like metaphysical or quantum physics to lure you in.

There’s so many things I can say regarding this but I will expose them all in a separate blog post.

At first it went well, I felt GREAT. I let go, surrendered everything. I did feel better………temporarily.

I did whatever I can to make it right. Still, I realized that I was thirsty for the TRUTH. This whole thing about there is no ONE specific God and that every religion worships the same God.

It’s bull crap, I tell you.

Remember what I said?

Subtle, But Highly Deceptive

Corinthians 2:11

We are not ignorant of Satan’s schemes

They even teach that Jesus is purely a Christ consciousness. That He was just a prophet just like the others. That He is not the Son of God.

If you want to know more, I HIGHLY SUGGEST you read this article on New Age Manipulation. If you have been devoting to reading the Word of God and that alone while NOT relying on man’s wisdom or your own, you will understand what I am saying.

Simply put it, these people in the New Age will TRICK YOU by taking Bible verses and fit into their agenda.

While there are some truths to what they teach, they deny that Jesus Christ is the ONLY Son of God. There will be a lot of God talk and sounding Holy BUT DO NOT BE FOOLED.

I have played the devil’s game myself because of being in the darkness for so long. I know every trick up Satan’s sleeves.

Anyways, I realized something was wrong. I was living my life in gratitude and doing all that stuff, but something just wasn’t adding up.

Fast forward to 2019 (recently), I realized something. This is not new to me but I was blinded again.

So, what did I realize?

I noticed that these teachings of New Age and positive thinking movement was being PUSHED. Pushed constantly by the media and those in power, control, fame and fortune.

This should ring a RED ALARM to you. 

If not, wake up! Read on Freemasonry, who TRULY runs this world and also understand that there are MORE truth in MOVIES than the news.

This is the world we live in right now.

As I progressed forward to live a more authentic life and bringing more goodness into my life, I decided to search for how I can make a living just by being myself and talking about what I love – from my heart and soul.

I did not want to act like I have to be this or that no more. I was TIRED.

Then I stumbled upon a video on YouTube. It talks about how the masses are being deceived and forced fed LIES in the name of “LOVE AND TOLERANCE”.

EVERYTHING STARTED TO CLICK.

EVERYTHING MADE SENSE NOW.

That ultimately Christ is the ONLY TRUTH. 

There was an OBVIOUS pattern to all this madness. People would either mock Jesus Christ or take Bible verses to suit their SATANIC agenda.

I could STRONGLY feel that those in power did NOT want people to feel the Holy Spirit. To live life in blindness and accept everything yet not question anything.

I truly understood the war we are facing right now.

Sadly, most Christians fell into the same trap of Satan’s deceptions. If it’s not in the Scripture which is the Word of God, DON’T FALL FOR IT.

This is when Christ saved me. I felt His presence. So I surrendered to the LORD in Christ name. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I am DEEPLY thankful.

It felt like I have been set free. That I no longer felt imprisoned by lies and deception.

Once I accepted Christ in my heart, repent and asked for salvation, I feel so relieved. It’s the feeling when you know that you can rely on the LORD rather than taking responsibility for EVERYTHING.

It’s draining, tiring no matter how much you tell me to think positive.

I was blind but now I see.

And for that. I am so thankful. The best decision I have ever made in my life? I surrendered to Jesus Christ wholeheartedly.

Thank you LORD and thank YOU for reading till the end. I appreciate and love you so much, remember that.

I guess I will end it here.

God bless.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

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